Vague Notions

This week I realized I've had several vague notions,

1. A notion is an idea, often vague and sometimes fanciful. A notion is lighter than a theory and embraces a whimsy that a simple idea never could. You might have the notion that you can slow global warming by taking public transportation and reusing plastic bags.

So my notions have included that because I felt so good before the first infusion, I would feel just as strong afterwords.  On Thursday, it was great to visit a little with Cathy and Melinda (who came bearing yummy food gifts).  But even though I was tired, I was still just ready to ride things through. 

Come Friday, Ben went to an appointment, and then we arranged to meet for breakfast/brunch.  I went by the office for just a bit beforehand, but was having a hard time concentrating.

Which brings me to the idea of focus...one of the strangest things has been my ability (or should I say, inability) to focus and concentrate without feeling overwhelmed.  I found myself being able to listen but not talk, watch but not discuss, or make minimal conversation but nothing meaningful.  That's basically continued through today. 

The stomach/nausea thing has been there...mostly I've been able to keep the bad stuff at bay.  Lots
of anti-nausea medicines mess with you...I'll prepare better for the next time.  The ativan to help sleep at night is very useful....the one night I didn't take it, I was up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours.

Thank goodness Bill has been so great to me.  We actually went out yesterday and picked out a much needed new dishwasher to replace our current leaking one.  And, today, we went to Palm Sunday Service, although that was about all I could handle.  I do feel a little stronger this afternoon.  Tomorrow, I plan to go into work in the morning, through our Monday Lenten luncheon.  And then, probably a nap!  I've found a good nap around 2:00 or so is just about right.  

There's probably 20 or more possible side effects...we were told that I could experience just a few or all 20.  And, there's no guarantee of when a side effect will hit; i.e., I could be fine for several days and then have a day of nausea or extra-tiredness.

So, it's a day at a time.  I have been humbled!  And, I feel extra compassion towards those people who have to deal with chronic physical and mental ailments...it's very easy to forget the hidden anxieties and hurts that are constantly or repetitively  present.  

Thanks so much to Ben for helping me grocery shop and deal with the groceries, for MJ for some yummy brownies, for cards in the mail from sweet friends, and for y'alls prayers and support!

Love y'all!